No kidding. Who says people can’t breathe fire? Certain indirect methods allow us to blow flames with our mouths, so it’s rather unfortunate that we can’t realistically smote our enemies with dragon fire breath or shinobi katon techniques. Don’t despair, though, my brethren! There is an alternative path of darkness that will unleash your unlimited potential: the power of Thai curry.
Why Thai curry? Spice. Those of you who are more spice veterans out there may be skeptical, but for a total spice eating noob like me, Thai curry is basically a 15 on my scale of 10 for spicy food (and I normally cannot handle a 4). Granted, our Thai host might have added a bit too much spice into the curry, and home cooked curry probably isn’t exactly representative of Thai food in general (neither is curry paste from a bag), but the curry spice levels were already way off my operating radar. High consumption levels of milk (basic) and orange juice (acidic…whut…so why orange juice) were required, probably resulting in my stomach having reached 130% capacity, with mixture levels at 75% liquid, 25% curry. Brain nearly malfunctioned.
The curry was great, don’t get me wrong. Rich flavors and ample textures filled my mouth as I nom-ed on the food with my incisors, canine, and molar teeth. The spiciness, however, made the free-dinner-from-a-friend one hell of a battle. Sweat dribbled down my face as I struggled to eat the delicious curry, slightly embarrassed as several friends watched me have obvious problems eating my meal. I probably looked like I was going Super Saiyan, considering how much energy I seemed to be outputting from my body.
This happened about 1.5 months ago; I never got around to finishing this really really short post, but the event remains quite prominently within my mind due to (1) the extreme pain and (2) the fact that I normally don’t eat anywhere besides dining halls, Little Johns, or Bodo’s Bagels. I wouldn’t say the experience was either really fun or really negative. It did reaffirm the notion, however, that sometimes, it’s just too hot to handle.